so whats new?

Hi folks,

Many of you complained that I have not updated my blog. The reason for this is that I was in Scotland for a week, then was working way too much, I was out for 1st May, then back to working, and after work I always went for aperitivo, so I just had no time (it sounds so lame, but unfortunately true...)

Edinburgh
Anyways, to start with, I should tell you some words of how my stay went in Scotland.
So, to be honest, Edinburgh is an AMAZING city. I would have never expected this. The whole city has a real atmosphere, and you have this amazing 'feeling' that 'shit, I am in Edinburgh'. You have all these streets with full of history and pubs :-) and really nice people who are happy to help you out and to talk to you. After arriving to the airport we took a taxi (with Tibault, the French guy) and the taxi driver was really nice, telling everything about the city and giving some hints about where to go to have some fun in the evening.
Then when I withdraw some money, I realized that the bank notes carry the text: issued by the bank of Scotland... I was perplessed and started to wonder (loud) it it was the same thing as English pound. Then a lady who was passing by said confirmed that it is the same thing, although i dont want to use them in London, but better of exchanging them for 'english' pounds.
Then all the excellent pubs they got over there! and so many of them! and beer drinking is really a culture for them. I was amazed. Seriously.
There are only 2 negative things about the place. One is the climate. Although it was not raining too much (fortunately) it was quite cold! I had to switch on the heating every given night in the hotel! It is just way too much in the north....
And, the city is really but really expensive! Incredible expensive. To put like this: with the Scottish salary and Scottish price index you are actually poorer than in Milan with the Italian salary! I have this feeling...
So, i have seen quite a few things there, Scotch whiskey museum, queen's palace, castle, old city, new city etc.... It was really fun, and had such a good time. And after all, the city is not to bad, but had difficulties seeing myself living there.

Ya que hablamos de entrevista con la impresa Scottish and Newcastle. Para mi estaba muy claro que andaba para ahi solo por tener vacancas pagadas! Pero, bueno, mi ha impressionado la impresa. Muy professional, muy interessante, pero, bueno, ya el programma 2 anos 4 paises no es verdad! En realta, se habla de dos anos y 2-3 paises.... Y claramente media ano, o un ano en Edinburgo... que dezir.... ya que en Edinburgo con aquele salario no si vive muy bien, yo creo.... Entonces, yo no se, no pienso que me interessa... pero no puedo saber. En cualqer modo, me dejan saber entre una semana.

complete photo album is here

First of May
First of May, festa del lavoro!
I spent if at the lake of Garda, (aroung 130kms from Milan). Amazing place. we were celebrating Davide's birthday (Davide is Elena's boyfriend, I was doing my internship at the Australian Consulate with Elena, and btw, she is a Bocconi student, she is not too proud of this though...)
Anyways, we went to some kind of beach at the lake, and took some sun, ate, drank some beer (okay, that was only me) and it was really really relaxing, which, btw, I really need anyways. Then we went to great pizzeria where i took the specialty of the house, which is chicken done by a brazilian receipt! Wonderful, believe me :-) then birthday cake, birthday present, and I was home already home at 1 am....
negatives of the day? having to get up at 7.00 am.... when am i going to take some rest finally???







AC Milan
the following day, we went to see AC Milan against Manchester in the second leg of the semifinal in the Champions' League! (Thanks to Stefano btw). it was really an amazing match, but somehow i did not manage to enjoy it, i was so tired.... fuck it...
Anyways, the point is, MILAN IS THE FINAL!!! haha!!! I am thinking of going to the final of Athens, but the thing is it would be complicated to get leave days now from work, and financially it would be too much of a burden...


New position
Okay, so how am i really spending my days?
well, from last monday I have been taking a new role at Bocconi! I became the coordinator of one of the dual degree programs at Bocconi! (www.bocconiceu.org)
I thought it is not a big deal (apart from the fact that it happens to be a senior position...) but now I am realizing it is much much harder than I though it would be... and after one week, I am a bit lost, way too much information I am getting, and way too much things i do not know yet. and honestly, Im having a big doubt on how the hell they could give me this position, I am way too young to have the 'credibility' for such a position with full of responsibilities. Anyways, it's been only one week, and I prefer not drawing too much of conclusion, so I will get back to this in a few weeks, when I will completely understand the situation...
Anyways, what I am really but really sad for is leaving the International Student Desk. Even though I had serious doubts about it in the beginning, in these several past months I really had fun working there, and I owe thanks to my direct colleagues who always helped me. Laura and Nick are the best!!! Exceptional persons. And to be honest, I have never had such a good direct colluege as Stefano. Stefano was amazingly supporting and became one of the persons I trust the most now! It was an exceptional experience and eventhough the workload was exaggeratedly high in the beginning, I have to say, I have enjoyed it to the most possible!

At this moment
I am relaxing, having some cups of voda&orange and listening to lounge music (maybe the only thing missing is some real 'dutch' stuff, hehe). The thing is that over the last 2 weeks I got really exhausted. Maybe this is the reason why I was sleeping until 4 pm today! 4 pm!! (i got up at 11 am to eat something, after that i just got back to sleeping). I would have really liked to go out, but after all i found noone who would have joined me, so I am staying in, and guess what, I am working! :-(

Anyways, in the last 4 weeks, I was thinking a lot. I was thinking (and still thinking) what the hell I am doing in Milan???? Of course, I like Milan. I like the city, the culture, the people and how things are getting done. But, to be honest, I do not really see what I am doing here. why I am back here? yes, because one stupid person a year ago said 'Gabor will never go back to Bocconi' and I am arrogant enough to prove that I can be back and other people will not decide about my future. And because I was stupid enough to think I can get back what I had just 3 years ago (of course I cannot)...
What the hell I am doing here?
To cite my post of one year ago: 'Madrid is so much better than Milan'
and almost a year ago I wrote also one post (in Spain):
I love this place so much.
I love the city
I love the people
I love the language
I love the climate
I love the smell of the coffee in the morning which fills the streets in the center
I love the bars with the 50 cent shots
I love Irish Rover with its cool music
I love the parks
I love not to worry about tomorrow but only about tonight
I love to be hidden
I love to wander to historical streets of the city
I love the Sun and
I love the sky which is really azzurro here, . . .

I do not want to go away :-(
Why did I go away? Because I believed that Milan can offer more.


So, what now?
To be honest, the plan would be, give me some time. Give me a year. Give this job opportunity a year. In a year time many things can happen. Maybe my whole life will change.
Maybe...
I know what I want.
I dont know how to get there.
And honestly, i do not even believe i would ever get there... not any more. I was too much hurt and got disappointed in the past. But I cannot know. I do accept, I am still way too young to know everything about life!
But after all, what can happen to me here? I am in Milan, a city I know... Where I feel the most at home, no matter what. I can save some money, I can definitely learn a lot from my new challange at work and some stability after these 3 years of moving around all the time, would not hurt too much...
I would say, pazienza, vedremo come vanno le cose, e prossimo maggio ci evalutero molto bene come fare e come andar avanti con la vita. Sono ancora giovane.. forse... o forse no.. Ma, in realta, non penso che un anno in piu a milano mi farebbe troppo male.
Ho dei sogni, se non riesco realizzarli a Milano, cmq, come mi conoscerete gia, non avro problemi con cambiare lavoro, citta, paese e vita...

Intanto direi, si vada avanti, si beva vodka e arancia, si fumi della roba preziosa, si realizzi degli obbiettivi in lavoro, e si trovi bene!

hugging all of you guys very strongly!

ps: lovely music: